Chris DiOrio

It is believed that Chris DiOrio had parents, a mother and a father. However, due to his pathological behavioral fetishes, those close to him theorize that he grew fully formed from the dust clots accumulated behind the laundromat dryers at Vinnie’s Suds Your Duds in Providence. After completing college, Chris emerged with no discernable skills and little common sense, so a career in the legal profession seemed a natural progression. Lucrative successes ensued for a vast array of formerly incarcerated reprehensible and morally bankrupt “citizens” who refer to Chris as “counselor” or “that old lumpy bald guy.”

As part of his 200 hours of community service for a regrettable incident with three cross-dressing Irish guys, a roll of duct tape and a sheep at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in South Boston, Chris has returned to work with noted philanthropist, director, and inventor of the cotton gin, Donnie Baillargeon in his first production with Concord Players. Chris’ mental health team is unanimous in believing that such performances will temporarily silence the voices in his head, much less expensively than Thorazine, to which he has built a physical tolerance. Inexplicably, Chris has two children, both human, and the hospital staff will simply be happy to get him back under lock and key in the sub-basement after the show is finished, where he can pursue his hobbies of gnawing on used cat toys and “exploring” yard animals with a buck knife and a Polaroid camera.

Concord Player Productions
2011 The Drowsy Chaperone Feldzieg